The Logic of Logistics

That was the Week That was : Episode 87 -The Logic of Logistics


It was a hot humid day…………most days of last week. Driving a courier van in that weather is like driving a baking tin in an oven regulo 6.

So much so that when I delivered rolls of fabric to the Silk Centre the Indian woman said to me “have you come from Bombay?” No it was not a late delivery, my reply was “Northampton, a bit closer than Bombay” so she might have been nuts or just remarking that I looked hot and bothered.

It’s a job. On Thursday I was out of the house for 14 hours making 70 stops. The depot is half and hour from my house, the depot is an hour from Peterborough city centre, my zone. As it’s pedestrianised series of shopping areas there is a lot of walking with a set of wheels for boxes. I do like the job, don’t like the hours, but none of the drivers do. One driver keeps a photo of himself on the mantelpiece – “who’s that Mummy”, his children ask, “that’s your Daddy children, he’s at work”.

I have my own bay at the depot and the only one with my name printed out, everybody else has post codes, I have my name. I don’t think it’s ‘cos they think I am thick, I think it’s to help the depot unloaders to put my loads in the right place. I also have a bigger truck now, the other one’s were to small………………. So everyone says Good Morning Allan, and I know about 5 names, so the rest of the time I just say Hi back.

I won’t mention the names, because last time I did the agency that got me work was asked to attend a meeting with this other freight company about my day in the life of with them and a manic co driver intent on wrecking the truck and getting the sack. Though the agency had a good laugh at my observations, I need this current job, hence no names. For the curious followers of this blog go back to the week leading up to Christmas and my account of the passenger and the driver from hell.

Getting back to present day, it was Thursday that was my worse day so far , the highlight low light being this scenario:-

I drive up to the service area entrance shutters, ring the security bell, I am told the shutters are jammed shut, the computer has gone wrong. Pause for thought there. Has it come to this that we now need a computer to pull up a roller shutter, and is there no mechanical override like a chain, no health and safety can’t use the chain…cobblers.

Impossible to park as well in the streets, buses and taxis only, one way systems, road works, barriers you name it, it is there. 4 drivers have been tried and failed on this route in 2 months, I am the 5th, I am winning so far. Developers and Architects build these shopping centres but never think shops have to sell things and it is not all washing machines from the planet Zanussi beaming down through the roof.

So, the immovable shutters, no oxy acetylene torch to hand, I decide to get this small parcel to the shop in the shopping mall, like a 5 minute walk. The Manager can’t sign for it over the front counter, why not, it’s the rules, the shutter is down, no matter, the shutter is down and his lights are not on. OK I say I will walk through your shop to the back. Can’t do that he says there is no way from the front to the back. Blimey, we’ve got a right one here. So how do you get your stock from the back to the front then, tell you what don’t worry I take this box back and when the shutter is fixed in a few days you can have it then, bye.

Well Mr Jobsworth you win today’s star plonker of the day award.

I am not paid to think, just to do what I am told………………..derrrrrrrrr


Me, no lunch, nothing to eat all day, just drinking water, working time directive ??? yeah sure, no time to stop that day.


On the flip side I was asked by the depot to collect from a shop that had been closed for 3 months……………dooo doo do do !!!

And I have had 3 vans, all defective, some of the defects I fixed myself. Got stuck outside the passport office on double yellow lines and a bend, the van was dead when I got back in, but after 20 minutes I got in going again. The week before the clutch on another van, just fitted with a £500 new clutch, was burning and all the dashboard warning lights were illuminated in competition with the Blackpool Pleasure Beach Illuminations. I still got that one back too.

No overtime, just s slavery salary, just below the national average. But it’s a job. I must admit on Thursday morning waking up by alarm at 05.45 hours, it took me to 05.50 hours to figure out what day it was, and one tends to wish one’s life away, can’t wait to finish, thank god it’s Friday. But it’s a job, and Gordon Brown, our Prime Minister, and Alistair Darling, his Chancellor, have good jobs, allowances and salaries, but the rest of us fight to survive. Unlike the fat cats at the banks that have all the taxpayers money to bail them out of the mess they put us in and keep us in.


3 wheels on my wagon, but I’m still rolling along, no Cherokees after me, no flaming spears to burn my ears, and I listen to the test match as I go along, singing hippytty happytty hoppitty hi, pioneers they never say die, and we can watch our lives …… go galloping by.