Over Qualified in lateral thinking not

When you were young and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(you know you did, you know you did you know you did)
But in this ever changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die

Live and let DIE...................

I enquired about a job the other day, I thought it was a misprint : Wanted VNA Driver, but no it's not a Van driver they wanted , it's a qualification...a very narrow aisle driver, blimey, does that mean there is a NA driver and a VWA driver too, do they get less ££££ for driving down normal aisles or very wide aisles.

I was the first TV journalist to forecast climatic change in 1991, yes 19 years ago on a Thursday Night BBC1, and all the extreme weather predictions have come to fruition. BUT.......... can I get a job in something that is close to my heart, after all, as the Red Indians believed, we borrow this Earth for our children and their children.

No, you now need a Degree in it to sit behind a desk and do too little too late.

Standing in line marking time--
Waiting for the welfare dime
'Cause they can't buy a job
The man in the silk suit hurries by
As he catches the poor old ladies' eyes
Just for fun he says "Get a job"

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

Maybe you need a qualification for pulling the toilet roll out of those cylindrical drums they use in the cubicles at Motorway Service Centres and Industrial Toilets. I can never find the dangly bit, toilet roll, I am referring too here. Maybe there is a guy in quality control who has glue to stick the end. Bit like the quality control officer at Durex with a pin who mutters "another bastard another bastard".

And finally............ as I drive over England's white and pleasant lands, I notice the road side signs as I leave the quaint village "Thank You for driving carefully".

Now the question: How did they know?? Why are there no further signs: "Now" "You Can "Be as Reckless as you like", "Go on drive like a mad man".

Thought provoking yes, but I don't need to be told to drive carefully, I thought we all wanted to live and not die.

Until next time.........................