As Julie Driscoll said if your memory serves you well.
These days I sit behind a steering wheel reflecting on life’s might have beens. The girlfriends I have known, that once were part of my daily breath, then time changes everything. The jobs I had, where I was important, hey at least I thought so.
Now life continues as a struggle, alright I am not in the
I will recount my past deeds in other blogs. This is a kick start.
Today I delivered a Bosche washing machine to the Baron of Amersham, well he thought he was, he acted as if he was, and his mansion and grounds magnificently portrayed his lifestyle and grandeur. As he arrogantly and angrily strutted around, not helped by the fact my co driver had reversed into 2 of his trees, I thought, why has he got all this, not only compared to me, but to another house I delivered to, which was total squalour, stuffed full of life’s bits and pieces, and where you trod on coat hangers and white bras to get to the kitchen.
Anyway, back to the Baron and his red vintage TR4, but mind you it did have a flat tyre, parked in the basement garage the size of 8 squash courts, with several internal Roman pillars holding up the roof. Such a miserable lord of the manor aka the Sheriff of Nottingham, I doubt if he was more clever than me, even though he had the gardeners, chamber maids and butler. His old washing machine was hard wired and hard plumbed, so I went in search of him, got to the winding marble staircase, and the chamber maids, said they would get him. John Lewis had got his custom, and it is customary for them to take the old one away. “Have you not got tools?” he barked. “No” I replied, “normally we can disconnect them by hand, pull the plug and unscrew the hose”. So he begrudgingly provided a tool box, then wrote down on the delivery note the damage to the trees, which in truth was just a few twigs. But, he did not see it that way, and wanted my co driver to “fix the trees”. Errrrrrrrr what with selotape or bostik I thought.
Now it was day 3 of working for Night Freight home delivery. Yes night and day. These days I leave in the dark and come home in the dark. Driving a lorry in the dark and icy winter mornings and late afternoons with no windscreen washers, broken rear lights, no fuel gauge, indicators held on by duck tape, a sticky gear box, and mirrors that wobbled independent to the suspension. I am sat next to Negative Nick, “I am not cut out for this job”, “I got the sack from my last job at MFI ‘cos I hit the Manager, only once mind you”. Nick has worked there for a year he is early thirties, hates the job, hates Night Freight, hates the customers. He is also mute, most of the time and miserable, a real team player. I gleamed his qualities after 3 days, when he spoke just those three times. He should go to the Job Centre for the Grim Reaper vacancy, but, hey, makes me look good, makes me look like the personification of charm , a saint next to the sinner………….hahaha.
Just in case you were thinking of the John Lewis Premium delivery service, Night Freight, who operate from what looks like old milking sheds, not even a sign at the gate, depot 10 Earls Barton, also contract for B&Q, Victoria Plumb and a few others. I saw the trailer delivering to the Depot and all the boxes were just thrown in, large crushing small, and boxes completely distorted and split, god knows what damage there was to the contents. Yes, I did say Premium Service, 48 hour delivery for which the customer pays extra. 20 deliveries a day in about 9 hours across home counties.
Wonderful thing the internet, except you can’t see what you are getting till you get it, and a filthy, scruffy, unroadworthy lorry appears in your road and 2 “nice” men at your doorstep.
As I said, the old appliances are collected, the new ones just left in their packaging. But, some lady, again in a grand home, clearly did not have the means to fit the new one, I do not understand why she did not have a husband who could do it, in such a mansion. So I told NN I would fit it, “why” he moaned, “kindness and service” I replied as he stormed back to the truck. When he drove the truck, the customers got courtesy calls to say we were on our way. When I drove the customers got a surprise.
Even the other agency drivers won’t work with Nick the miserable mute, one said earlier to the Management “piss off” and walked out, when they were told he was with NN. So I did my sentence, 3 days, hopefully Night Freight’s sickness record improves next week, and my phone will not ring at 06.37 hours. Finally, a last note. Just to improve the condition of the truck NN took out the rear lights completely backing into a grass bank of another customer, and then, swerving to avoid an uncoming bus, he headed for the country roadside shrubbery and sorted out the wobbling mirrors once and for all, leaving the parts on the grass verge in our exhaust fumes.
A bit careless you may think, but that’s Nick, he does not care.
It’s days like this that you wish you had a hidden camera.
Bon Chance…………….
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